No one likes conflict, but it’s inevitable; we often have differing needs, wants and desired outcomes in a situation. What is interesting to explore is our personal response to conflict is. If people are stuck in their familiar defenses, it's hard to work together toward a reasonable outcome.
These moments are challenging. Depending on your Energy Signature, there’s a typical pattern of initial reaction to these triggers! The more aware we are of this patterning, the better equipped to navigate a satisfactory compromise.
The way you react has to do with deeper underlying beliefs; fortunately, it's not necessary to delve into those deep waters! We can just work with our automatic reaction, and overcome our resistance to what appears to be problematic.
Here’s a round-up of the favored reactive patterns of the different energy types. Remember, you have more than one type in your Energy Signature so a few might be familiar to you. Do you recognize any of these as your instinctive go-to?
A Priest, always more comfortable in energetic and spiritual realms, likes to escape. If they can’t physically leave, they will become energetically absent! Of course not much can be resolved without both parties present. I was dating a Priest (like me) and in our first argument, he stormed out of his house; I went home. I realized there was no chance of a relationship without anyone engaging! I decided to practice staying present which really helped me grow personally.
The Lover tends to become emotional and give up, a sort of collapse. Their needs aren't met and the situation remains problematic for them; the other person rules the interaction. Grounding, even in anticipation of a potentially negative interaction, helps. My Warrior daughter would tell her Lover sister to “get over it, it’s not that bad, stop whining!” when this happened (it only made it worse.) I actually developed a special technique to ground my Lover daughter!
The Gardener also acquiesces; they will shut down and not communicate in difficult moments. Not speaking, they become subservient to the others’ agenda. Internally they will resent it and possibly hold a grudge. The key here is twofold: first, to be aware of their own needs (which can be hard - they're typically focused on taking care of others.) Then they need to communicate clearly their position, and ask for what they want.
The Warrior is the rare energy type that doesn't flinch from conflict, even enjoying it at times. Most often their reaction is to become aggressive and try to control the outcome (especially if feeling threatened.) They can throw a lot of energy around to intimidate! Alternatively, they might be charming to disarm the other. A Warrior needs to consciously drop their energy down from their upper body. Like shedding a coat, the energy just slides down to the floor. After that they are available for a mutual discussion.
The Royal does conflict like they do everything - with expediency and little emotion. They are often quite sure about the correct outcome. To resolve a situation quickly they will seize on the most practical solution, but hey might be puzzled or unsure when it’s a more emotional situation. Their ideas will be workable but may not be satisfying to all. They should listen and consider a more heartfelt response to truly engage others in the process.
Anything feel familiar? Usually these reactions around discomfort are habitual. Your first response may vary, according to which pattern is in play. One of your Energy Signature types may come up more in personal situations, while another type is more frequent in the work environment. At first, it’s enough to just start noticing what your reactive patterns are - watch yourself! Then you can start to practice more effective ways of meeting conflict, bad news, or other unpleasant circumstances.
Peace, love and healing -
Curious about Your Energy Signature? Take the quiz and learn more!